What I’ve decided

I think it’s amazing that yet another year, 2015, has passed. I’ve learnt quite a bit educationally; and even if not a lot on the life lesson side; I’ve understood so much more about human behaviour and teenage life. Studying at a boarding school surrounds me with teens after all. i learnt quite a lot about Japan in 2014, and this year has just strengthened my experiences and understanding.

I’ve learnt that you can’t control others; but you can control your attitude towards them. This other indian girl at school is a pain in the ass, always borrowing food or money and never returning it, confusing and frustrating me-I wish I’d never met her-but she is a nice person. Her jokes are funny. And she only gets to go back once a year, so of course she asks me to get stuff back for her. And her shitty opinions which aren’t worth twopence and insult me and my cast and religion and everything are annoying my guts out but she says what’s on her mind. She teases me and she has fun with it. And she has made me a stronger person because I’ll meet much worse people in life later.

Then there’s the guy from the Philippines. I want to kiss his face every time I see him. I want to play basketball games with him and chat with him over long cups of chocolate milk. But I bet he thinks of me as no more than a friend. He talks to me occasionally and respects me as much as everyone else; and that’s the full stop. He’s never insulted me and never complemented me either. I’ve never told him but he probably has the hint that I’m obsessing over him-and well, I can’t just give up on his face or body or personality. The other day, I actually plucked up the balls to ask if he’ll play a basketball match with me in the gym, and he didn’t turn up ’cause well it was the last day before the holidays and he was probably busy packing; which he told me, and gave me this innocent easy grin. Oh ma lord. His smile could light up the arctic skies.

How do you politely tell someone to pin you down to a wall and make out with you?

Anyways, I can’t control him. He’s my age and probably jokes and thinks just as simply as I do; but probably in the male version. And the thing with reality is that you can’t tell someone what to do. But I love these two people anyways; just for being who they are. This year, I want to embrace the idea of loving others and loving yourself. Of finding the good qualities in others. Of smiling, appreciating and relaxing and loving everyone in this universe. And most of all, appreciating the good qualities in everyone no matter who they are.

I preach a lot for someone who talks more than they do-but these are my goals. What are your aims for 2016?

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Renuka says:

    Hi!! I’m your blog’s biggest fan (I dare any competitor to this post to challenge me on that). I enjoyed this post tremendously. The irony of the comparison between a foe and a friend, both emerging as human beings you’ve learnt to accept and love – the passions of bitterness and crushes both having taught you something valuable – is an amazing insight. I really wish you the best of luck for this New Year 2016, and wish you all the best for all your amazing resolutions.
    PLEASE keep us fans posted, we’re craving for more of your delightful posts. Each one is like an episode in a popular TV series – you just look forward to the next, like one of the reasons life’s beautiful. That’s because the episode gives you all your emotions – laughter, insight, relatability, learning, sadness, happiness – everything – just like your blog.
    Let us blog readers know your plans for the upcoming year 2016 at school.
    Congratulations on your consistency in maintaining this blog, and all us fans will ardently urge you to continue to do so. It’s a wonderful blog, and the most ironic part is that it’s totally relatable.
    The blog has painted you in a canvas. You’re no more unrelatable than Harry Potter when he goes to Hogwarts.
    No-one goes to magic boarding schools – but does that make the book unrelatable? Hell, no.
    We love you for being that magical protagonist in your own story, for being so open, honest, insightful and intelligent and brave, and look forward to more posts with your signature style. Hoping to hear from you soon – Renuka!

    My 2016 goals – Study for the IIT exam, get 100% in all my Uni of London courses, I should be rocking the JEE mains and advanced at the end of this year (I’d better).

    (P.S. Speaking of Arctic Skies, I’m doing my A/S exams, and chemistry has this one part about them – I quote – they form a “swirling vortex of stratospheric winds” in the winter. And apparently when sunlight comes in on spring, it causes a homolytic fission of chlorine atoms in the atmosphere, resulting in mass destruction of ozone. Anyways, sorry to embarrass a poetic reference with science, I just couldn’t help noticing that).

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    1. Haha! I haven’t written in ages ’cause I’ve had too much work! But this comment has given my new motivation and energy-thank you so so much Renuka! You have no idea how honoured I am with your long comment! But please, please give me any ideas or opinions on what I should write about too.

      Thank you for your wonderful encouragement; wishing you warm greetings from the freezing below zero temperatures from Karuizawa, Japan!

      (Haha with the science reference though)

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  2. Renuka says:

    Is it really so cold in Japan? You poor dear. But the snow must be wonderful as an experience, so enjoy what you can of that country.
    Anyways, we nightowlforever fans are craving really just for more stories about your life, just as before. Tell us about the jokes in your class, something interesting that happened in the day, what you ate, what the teachers taught, your exams, sports, friends. Tell us of interesting conversations you had, the things you did during your holiday. Your sister and how much (or how little) she’s changed after all your time away, your life back in India and your future goals. There must be something interesting going on all the time in Japan; tell us of that.
    You could even just blog us an entry of your life every day or every three-four days – whenever you have time – it’ll help you keep a track record of things – even if there’s no philosophical central theme like the usual. It’s just beautifully interesting to know how a person living in such different circumstances goes through every day.
    Tell us your opinions on interesting affairs : discrimination, religion, Indo-Japanese relations, (a)sexuality, rich people and poor people, philosophy, the IB syllabus vs Indian syllabi, bullying and enmity within your society, an interesting film or story. Your latest theories of science, your opinion on how the world began, your beliefs and values and what you stand for.
    But mostly, we’d just like to hear about you as a person through all these things. 🙂 It’s so lovely to see and analyse someone through their diary.
    Hope your exams are going awesome! Keep us posted on all the projects and assignments you do in IB. And of course, tell us about your crush. I have to say on my part, if you’ll allow me to state my opinion of the matter, that if he ever read this blog – his opinion of you would seriously change. Anyone’s opinion of you would. They’d see how rich an inner life you lead. And they’d root for you all the time. After all, you’re OBLIGED to root for the protagonist! It’s the RULE of the book.

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