I think it’s amazing that yet another year, 2015, has passed. I’ve learnt quite a bit educationally; and even if not a lot on the life lesson side; I’ve understood so much more about human behaviour and teenage life. Studying at a boarding school surrounds me with teens after all. i learnt quite a lot about Japan in 2014, and this year has just strengthened my experiences and understanding.
I’ve learnt that you can’t control others; but you can control your attitude towards them. This other indian girl at school is a pain in the ass, always borrowing food or money and never returning it, confusing and frustrating me-I wish I’d never met her-but she is a nice person. Her jokes are funny. And she only gets to go back once a year, so of course she asks me to get stuff back for her. And her shitty opinions which aren’t worth twopence and insult me and my cast and religion and everything are annoying my guts out but she says what’s on her mind. She teases me and she has fun with it. And she has made me a stronger person because I’ll meet much worse people in life later.
Then there’s the guy from the Philippines. I want to kiss his face every time I see him. I want to play basketball games with him and chat with him over long cups of chocolate milk. But I bet he thinks of me as no more than a friend. He talks to me occasionally and respects me as much as everyone else; and that’s the full stop. He’s never insulted me and never complemented me either. I’ve never told him but he probably has the hint that I’m obsessing over him-and well, I can’t just give up on his face or body or personality. The other day, I actually plucked up the balls to ask if he’ll play a basketball match with me in the gym, and he didn’t turn up ’cause well it was the last day before the holidays and he was probably busy packing; which he told me, and gave me this innocent easy grin. Oh ma lord. His smile could light up the arctic skies.
How do you politely tell someone to pin you down to a wall and make out with you?
Anyways, I can’t control him. He’s my age and probably jokes and thinks just as simply as I do; but probably in the male version. And the thing with reality is that you can’t tell someone what to do. But I love these two people anyways; just for being who they are. This year, I want to embrace the idea of loving others and loving yourself. Of finding the good qualities in others. Of smiling, appreciating and relaxing and loving everyone in this universe. And most of all, appreciating the good qualities in everyone no matter who they are.
I preach a lot for someone who talks more than they do-but these are my goals. What are your aims for 2016?